At the end of each calendar year we reflect on the last 12 months, often collectively label it a disaster, and make bold promises for the upcoming twelve. Some will resolve to get in better shape, quit a bad habit, start a new good habit, or many other ways we believe to be an improvement on our own lives. One of my personal favourites was the year that I solemnly swore I was up to no good; boy, was the beginning of that year fun! But, most of these self-imposed promises fall apart after a bit of time, if they even get off the ground, and we find ourselves at the end of another year reflecting and promising.

As I look back on 2023 and the changes it brought to my life, I do wonder why so many of my own best intentions failed to take hold. How many years now I have I wanted to learn another language and yet here I am lazily using the only one I know? I have made changes this year, lots of them, but they weren’t the ones I set out to do. Nor did they happen when I thought they would, even less when I planned them for. Some of my changes were born of necessity while others from happenstance. Most however, came as a result of little, tiny, gradual shifts in my daily routines. Such small changes that, for the most part, I was unaware I was making a change. Most felt like an adaptation to a changing routine.

And that’s just it. That’s what adult life is: a routine.

You see, when we’re children we play a lot. Each day is exciting and big things are always happening. We grow into our formative years with this experience of what daily life is. But, it’s just not. Daily adult life is about routines, daily chores, mundane repetitions; it’s actually quite boring. Our “fun” is sparsely scattered in the time we have left or, like many of us, squeezed into a single week of chaotic vacation time. The changes I’ve had as an adult, especially now as I am entering my “mid-life” phase, came slowly and through small modifications to my routines.

Life isn’t exciting all the time, the goal is to be content.

As this realisation dawned on me during my year’s reflection it was sobering. It’s not what I thought life was going to be and it’s definitely not what we see so often on social media these days. But, it’s reality. At least for me it is. And, I do find a calming sort of comfort in learning this. Something of an acceptance to what is, a key piece of information to creating future change in my life. Knowing that adult life is about daily, boring, mundane, overly non-sexy routines, I now know where to look when something is needing to shift. Adult life is, I believe, about structuring the best personal routine for yourself. Maintaining your base needs but adjusting enough to incorporate opportunities that come your way. It’s looking at where you can shift to allow for some more fun into your life and, most of all, being okay with doing the work that needs to be done.

So no, I won’t be making any grand exclamations as the calendar turns to the next page. I’m just going to keep doing what I’m doing, putting my energy where I need to grow, and continue to search for those moments where I can let loose a little to enjoy the life I have.